Autumn Journal

Poet's note

"I am aware that there are over-statements in this poem...There are also inconsistencies...But I was writing what I have called a Journal...The truth of a lyric is different from the truths of science...I was writing it from August 1938 until the New Year...Nor am I attempting to offer what so many people now demand from poets - a final verdict or a balanced judgement. It is the nature of this poem to be neither final nor balanced...I shall probably be called a trimmer by some and a sentimental extremist by others. But poetry in my opinion must be honest before anything else and I refuse to be 'objective' or clear-cut at the cost of honesty." -L.M.

i

Close and slow, summer is ending in Hampshire,

    Ebbing away down ramps of shaven lawn where close-clipped yew

Insulates the lives of retired generals and admirals

    And the spyglasses hung in the hall and the prayer-books ready in the pew

And August going out to the tin trumpets of nasturtiums

    And the sunflowers' Salvation Army blare of brass

And the spinster sitting in a deck-chair picking up stitches

    Not raising her eyes to the noise of the 'planes that pass

Northward from Lee-on-Solent. Macrocarpa and cypress

    And roses on a rustic trellis and mulberry trees

And bacon and eggs in a silver dish for breakfast

    And all the inherited assets of bodily ease

And all the inherited worries, rheumatism and taxes,

    And whether Stella will amrry and what to do with Dick

And the branch of the family that lost their money on Hatry

    And the passing of the Morning Post and of life's climacteric

And the growth of vulgarity, cars that pass the gate-lodge

    And crowds undressing on the beach

And the hiking cockney lovers with thoughts directed

    Neither to God nor Nation but each to each.

But the home is still a sanctum under pelmets,

    All quiet on the Family Front,

Farmyard noises across the fields at evening

    While the trucks of the Southern Railway dawdle . . .  shunt

Into poppy sidings for the night -- night which knows no passion

    No assault of hands or tongue

For all is old as flint or chalk or pine-needles

    And the rebels and the yound

Have taken the train to town or the two-seater

    Unravelling rails or road,

Losing the thread deliberately behind them --

    Autumnal palinode.

And I am in the train too now and summer is going

    South as I go north

Bound for the dead leaves falling, the burning bonfire,

    The dying that brings forth

The harder life, revealing the trees' girders,

    The frost that kills the germs of laissez-faire;

West Meon, Tisted, Farnham, Woking, Weybridge,

    Then London's packed and stale and pregnant air.

My dog, a symbol for the abnandoned order,

    Lies on the carriage floor,

Her eyes inept and glamorous as a film star's,

    Who wants to live, i.e. wants more

Presents, jewellery, furs, gadgets, solicitations

    As if to live were not

Following the curve of a planet or controlled water

    But a leap in the dark, a tangent, a stray shot.

It is this we learn after so many failures,

    The building of castles in sand, of queens in snow,

That we cannot make any corner in life or in life's beauty,

    That no river is a river which does not flow.

Surbiton, and a woman gets in, painted

    With dyed hair but a ladder in her stocking and eyes

Patient beneath the calculated lashes,

    Inured for ever to surprise;

And the train's rhythm becomes the ad nauseam repetition

    Of every tured aubade and maudlin madrigal,

The faded airs of sexual attraction

    Wandering like dead leaves along a warehouse wall:

'I loved my love with a platform ticket,

    A jazz song,

A handbag, a pair of stockings of Paris Sand --

    I loved her long.

I loved her between the lines and against the clock,

    Not until death

But till life did us part I loved her with paper money

    And with whisky on the breath.

I loved her with peacock's eyes and the wares of Carthage,

    With glass and gloves and gold and a powder puff

With blasphemy, camaraderie, and bravado

    And lots of other stuff.

I loved my love with the wings of angels

    Dipped in henna, unearthly red,

With my office hours, with flowers and sirens,

    With my budget, my latchkey, and my daily bread.'

And so to London and down the evert-moving 

    Stairs

Where a warm wind blows the bodies of men together

    And blows apart their complexes and cares.

ii

Spider, spider, twisting tight -- 

    But the watch if wary beneath the pillow --

I am afraid in the web of night

    When the window is fingered by the shadows of branches,

When the lions roar beneath the hill

    And the meter clicks and the cistern bubbles

And the gods are absent and the men are still --

    Noli me tangere, my soul id forfeit.

Some now are happy in the hive of home,

    Thigh over thigh and light in the night nursery,

And some are hungry under the starry dome

    And some sit turning handles.

Glory to God in the Lowest, peace beneath the earth,

    Dumb and deaf at the nadir;

I wonder now whether anything is worth

    The eyelid opening and the mind recalling.

And I think of Persephone gone down to dark,

    No more a virgin, gone the garish meadow,

But why must she come back, why must the snowdrop mark

    That life goes on for ever?

There are nights when I am lonely and long for love

    But to-night is quentessential dark forbidding

Anyone beside or below me; only above

    Pile high the tumulus, good-bye to starlight.

Good-bye the Platonic sieve of the Carnal man

    But good-bye also Plato's philosophising;

I have a better plan

    To hit the target straight without circumlocution.

If you can equate Being in its purest form

    With denial of all appearance,

Then let me disappear - the scent grows warm

    For pure Not-Being, Nirvana.

Only the spider spinning out his reams

    Of colourless thread says Only there are always

Interlopers, dreams,

    Who let no dead dog lie nor death be final;

Suggesting, while he spins, that to-morrow will out-weigh

    To-night, that Becoming is a match for Being,

That to-morrow is also a day,

    That I must leave my bed and face the music.

As all the others do who with a grin

    Shake off sleep like a dog and hurry to desk or engine

And the fear of life goes out as they clock in

    And history is reasserted.

Spider, spider, your irony is true;

    Who am I -- or I -- to demand oblivion?

I must go out to-morrow as the others do

    And build the falling castle;

Which has never fallen, thanks

    Not to any formula, red tape or institution,

Not to any creeds or banks,

    But to the human animal's endless courage.

Spider, spider, spin

    Your register and let me sleep a little,

Not now in order to end but to begin

    The task begun so often.

iii

August is nearly over, the people

    Back from holiday are tanned

With blistered thumbs and a wallet of snaps and a little

    Joie de vivre which is contraband;

Whose stamina is enough to face the annual

    Wait for the annual spree,

Whose memories are stamped with specks of sunshine

    Like faded fleurs de lys.

Now the till and the typewriter call the fingers,

    The workman gathers his tools

For the eight-hour day but after that the solace

    Of films or football pools

Or of gossip or cuddle, the moments of self-glory

    Or self-indulgence, blinkers on the eye of doubt,

The blue smoke rising and the brown lace sinking

    In the empty glass of stout.

Most are accepters, born and bred to harness,

    And take things as they come,

But some refusing harness and more who are refused it

    Would pray that another and a better Kingdom come,

Which now is sketched in the air or travestied in slogans

    Written in chalk or tar on stucco or plaster-board

But in time may find its body in men's bodies,

    Its law and order in their heart's accord,
Where skill will no longer languish nor energy be trammelled

    To competition and graft,

Exploited in subservience but not allegiance

    To an untterly lost and daft

System that gives a few at fancy prices

    Their fancy lives

While ninety-nine in the hundred who never attend the banquet

    Must wash the grease of ages off the knives.

And now the tempter whispers 'But you also

    Have the slave-owner's mind,

Would like to sleep on a mattress of easy profits,

    To snap your fingers or a whip and find

Servants or houris ready to wince and flatter

    And build with their degradation your self-esteem;

What you want is not a world of the free in function

    But a niche at the top, the skimmings of the cream.'

And I answer that that is largely so for habit makes me

    Think victory for one implies another's defeat,

That freedom means the power to order, and that in order

    To preserve the values dear to elite

The elite must remain a few. It is so hard to imagine

    A world where the many would have their chance without

A fall in the standard of intellectual living

    And nothing left that the highbrow cared about.

Which fears must be suppressed. There is no reason for thinking

    That, if you give a chance to people to think or live,

The arts of thought or life will suffer and become rougher

    And not return more than you could ever give.

And now I relapse to sleep, to dreams perhaps and reaction

    Where I shall play the gangster or the sheikh,

Kill for the love of killing, make the world my sofa,

    Unzip the women and insult the meek.

Which fantasies no doubt are due to my private history,

    Matter for the analyst,

But the final cure is not in his past-dissecting fingers

    But in a future of action, the will and fist

Of those who abjure the luxury of self-pity,

    And prefer to risk a movement without being sure

If movement would be better or worse in a hundred

    Years or a thousand when their heart is pure.

None of our hearts are pure, we always have mixed motives,

    Are self-deceivers, but the worst of all

Deceits is to murmur 'Lord, I am not worthy'

    And, lying easy, turn your face to the wall.

But may I cure that habit, look up and outwards

    And may my feet follow my wider glance

First no doubt to stumble, then to walk with the others

    And in the end -- with time and luck -- to dance.

iv

September has come and I wake

    And I think with joy how whatever, now or in future, the system

Nothing whatever can take

    The people away, there will always be people

For friends or for lovers though perhaps

    The conditions of love will be changed and its vices diminished

And affection not lapse

    To narrow possessiveness, jealousy founded on vanity.

September has come, it is hers

    Whose vitality leaps in the autumn,

Whose nature prefers

    Trees without leaves and a fire in the fire-place;

So, I give her this month and the next

    Though the whole of my year should be hers who has rendered already

So many of its days intolerable or perplexed

    But so many more so happy;

Who has left a scent on my life and left my walls

    Dancing over and over with her shadow,

 Whose hair is twined in all my waterfalls

    And all of London littered with rememberd kisses.

So I am glad

    That life contains her with her moods and moments

More shifting and more transient than I had

    Yet thought of as being integral to beauty;

Whose mind is like the wind on a sea of wheat,

    Whose eyes are candour,

And assurance in her feet

    Like a homing pigeon never by doubt diverted.

To whom I send my thanks

    That the air has become shot silk, the streets are music,

And that the ranks

    Of men are ranks of men, no more of cyphers.

So that if now alone

    I must pursue this life, it will not be only

A drag from numbered stone to numbered stone

    But a ladder of angels, river turning tidal.

Offhand, at times hysterical, abrupt,

    You are one I always shall remember,

Whom cant can never corrupt

    Nor argument disinherit.

Frivolous, always in a hurry, forgetting the address,

    Frowning too often, taking enormous notice

Of hats and backchat -- how could I assess

    The thing that makes you different?

You whom I remember glad or tired,

    Smiling in drink or scintillating anger,

Inopportunely desired

    On boats, trains, on roads when walking.

Sometimes untidy, often elegant

    So easily hurt, so readily responsive,

To whom a trifle could be an irritant

    Or could be balm and manna.

Whose words would tumble over each other and pelt

    From pure excitement,

Whose fingers curl and melt

    When you were friendly.

I shall remember you in bed with bright

    Eyes or in a cafe stirring coffee

Abstractedly and on your plate the white

    Smoking stub your lips had touched with crimson.

And I shall remember how your words could hurt

    Because they were so honest

And even your lies were able to assert

    Integrity of purpose.

And it is on the strength of knowing you

    I reckon generous feeling more important

Than the mere deliberating what to do

    When neither the pros or cons affect the pulses.

And though I have suffered from your special strength

    Who never flatter for points nor fake responses,

I should be proud if I could evolve at length

    An equal thrust and pattern.

v

To-day was a beautiful day, the sky was a brilliant

    Blue for the first time for weeks and weeks

But posters flapping on the railing tell the fluttered

    World that Hitler speaks, that Hitler speaks

And we cannot take it in and we go to our daily

    Jobs to the dull refrain of the caption 'War'

Buzzing around us as from hidden insects

    And we think 'This must be wrong, it has happened before,

Just like this before, we must be dreaming;

    It was long ago these flies

Buzzed like this, so why are they still bombarding

    The ears if not the eyes?'

And we laugh ut off and go round town in the evening

    And this, we say, is on me;

Something out of the usual, a Pimm's Number One, a Picon --

    But did you see

The latest? You mean whether Cobb has bust the record

    Or do you mean the Australians have lost their last by ten

Wickets or do you mean the autumn fashions --

    No, we don't mean anything like that again.

No, what we mean is Hodza, Henlein, Hitler,

    The Maginot Line,

The heavy panic that cramps the lungs and presses

    The collar down the spine.

And when we go out into Piccadilly Circus

    They are selling and buying the late

Special editions snatched and read abruptly

    Beneath the electric signs as crude as Fate.

And the individual, powerless, has to exert the

    Powers of will and choice

And choose between enormous evils, either

    Of which depends on somebody else's voice.

The cylinders are racing in the presses,

    The mines are laid,

The ribbon plumbs the fallen fathoms of Wall Street,

    And you and I are afraid.

To-day they were building in Oxford Street, the mortar

    Pleasant to smell,

But now it seems futility, imbecility,

    To be building shops when nobody can tell

What will happen next. What will happen

    We ask and waste the question on the air;

Nelson is stone and Johnnie Walker moves his

    Legs like a cretin over Trafalgar Square.

And in the Corner House the carpet-sweepers

    Advance between the tables after crumbs

Inexorably, like a tank battalion

    In answer to the drums.

In Tottenham Court Road the tarts and negroes

    Loiter beneath the lights

And the breeze gets colder as on so many other

    September nights.

A smell of French bread in Charlotte Street, a rustle

    Of leaves in Regent's Park

And suddenly from the Zoo I hear a sea-lion

    Confidently bark.

And so to my flat with the trees outside the window

    And the dahlia shapes of the lights on Primrose Hill

Whose summit once was used for a gun emplacement

    And very likely will

Be used that way again. The bloody frontier

    Converges on our beds

Like jungle beaters closing in on their destined

    Trophy of pelts and heads.

And at this hour of the day it is no good saying

    'Take away this cup';

Having helped to fill it ourselves it is only logic

    That now we should drink it up.

Nor can we hide our heads in the sands, the sands have

    Filtered away;

Nothing remains but rock at this hour, this zero

    Hour of the day,

Or that is how it seems to me as I listen

    To a hooter call at six

And then a woodpigeon calls and stops but the wind continues

    Playing its dirge in the trees, playing its tricks.

And now the dairy cart comes clopping slowly --

    Milk at the doors --

And factory workers are on their way to factories

    And charwomen to chores.

And I notice feathers sprouting from the rotted

    Silk of my black

Double eiderdown which was a wedding

    Present eight years back.

And the linen which I lie on came from Ireland

    In the easy days

When all I thought of was affection and comfort,

    Petting and praise.

And now the woodpigeon starts again denying

    The values of the town

And a car having crossed the hill accelerates, changes

    Up, having just changed down.

And a train begins to chug and I wonder what the morning

    Paper will say,

And decide to go quickly to sleep for the morning already

    Is with us, the day is to-day.

vi

And I remember Spain

    At Easter ripe as an egg for revolt and ruin

Though for a tripper the rain

    Was worse than surly or the worried or the haunted faces

With writings on the walls --

    Hammer and sickle, Boicot, Viva, Muerra;

With cafe-au-lait brimming the waterfalls,

    With sherry, shelfish, omelettes.

With fretted stone the Moor

    Had chiselled for effects of sun and shadow;

With shadows of the poor,

    The begging cripples and the children begging.

 The churches full of saints

    Tortured on racks of marble --

The old complaints

    COvered with gilt and dimly lit with candles.

With powerful or banal

    Monuments of riches or repression

And the Escorial

    Cold for ever within like the heart of Philip.

With ranks of dominoes

    Deployed on cafe table the whole of Sunday;

With cabarets that call the tourist, shows

    Of thighs and eyes and nipples.

With slovenly soldiers, nuns,

    And peeling posters from the last elections

Promising bread or guns

    Or an amnesty of another

Order or else the old

   Glory veneered and varnished

As if veneer could hold

    The rotten guts and crumbled bones together.

And a vultue hung in the air

    Below the cliffs of Ronda and below him

His hook-winged shadow wavered like despair

    Across the chequered vineyards.

And the boot-blacks in Madrid

    Kept us half an hour with polish and pincers

And all we did

    In that city was drink and think and loiter.

And in the Prado half --

    wit princes looked from the canvas they had paid for

(Goya had the laugh --

    But can what is corrupt be cured by laughter?)

And the day at Aranjuez

    When the sun came out for once on the yellow river

With Valdepenas burdening the breath

    We slept a royal sleep in the royal gardens;

And at Toledo walked

    Around the ramparts where they throw the garbafe

And glibly talked

    Of how the Spaniards lack all sense of business.

And Avila was cold

    And Segovia was picturesque and smelly

And a goat on the road seemed old

    As the rocks or the Roman arches.

And Easter was wet and full

    In Seville and in the ring on Easter Sunday

A clumsy bull and then a clumsy bull

    Nodding his banderillas died of boredom.

And the standard of living was low

    But that, we thought to ourselves, was not our business;

All the the tripper wants is the status quo

    Cut and dried for trippers.

And we thought the papers a lark

    With their party politics and blank invective;

And we thought the dark

    Women who dyed their hair should have it dyed more often.

And we sat in trains all night

    With the windows shut among civil guards and peasants

And tried to play piquet by a tiny light

    And tried to sleep bold upright;

And cursed the Spanish rain

    And cursed their cigarettes which came to pieces

And caught heavy colds in Cordova and in vain

    Waited for the right light for taking photos.

And we met a Cambridge don who said with an air

    'There's going to be trouble shortly in this country,'

And ordered anis, pudgy and debonair,

    Glad to show off his mastery of the language.

But only an inch behind

    This map of olive and ilex, this painted hoarding,

Careless of visitors the people's mind

    Was tunnelling like a mole to day and danger.

And the day before we left

    We saw the mob in flower at Algeciras

Outside a toothless door, a church bereft

    Of its images and its aura.

And at La Linea while

    The night put miles between us and Gibraltar

We heard the blood-lust of a drunkard pile

    His heaven high with curses;

And next day took the boat

    For home, forgetting Spain, not realising

That Spain would soon denote

    Our grief, our aspirations;

Not knowing that our blunt

    Ideals would find their whetstone, that our spirit

Would find its frontier on the Spanish front,

    Its body in a rag-tag army.

vii

Conferences, adjournments, ultimatums,

    Flights in the air, castles in the air,

The autopsy of treaties, dynamite under the bridges,

    The end of laissez faire.

After the warm days the rain comes pimpling

    The paving stones with white

And with the rain the national conscience, creeping,

    Seeping through the night.

And in the sodden park on Sunday protest

    Meetings assemble not, as so often, now

Merely to advertise some patent panacea

    But simply to avow

The need to hold the ditch; a bare avowal

    That may perhaps imply

Death at the doors in a week but perhaps in the long run

    Exposure of the lie.

Think of a number, double it, treble it, square it,

    And sponge it our

And repeat ad lib. and mark the slare with crosses;

    There is no time to doubt

If the puzzle really has an answer. Hitler yells on the wireless,

    The night is damp and still

And I hear dull blows on wood outside my window;

    They are cutting down the trees on Primrose Hill.

The wood is white like the roast flesh of chicken,

    Each tree falling like a closing fan;

No more looking at the view from the seats beneath the branches,

    Everything is going to plan;

They want the crest of this hill for anti-aircraft,

    The guns will take the view

And searchlights probe the heavens for bacilli

    With narrow wands of blue.

And the rain came on as I watched the territorials

    Sawing and chopping and pulling on ropes like a team

In a village tug-of-war; and I found my dog has vanished

    And thought 'This is the end of the old regime,'

But founf the police had got her at St. John's Wood station

    And fetched her in the rain and went for a cup

Of coffee to an all-night shelter and heard a taxi-driver

    Say 'It turns me up

When I see these soldiers in lorries' -- rumble of tembrils

    Drums in the trees

Breaking the eardrums of the ravished dryads --

    It turns me up; a coffee, please.

And as I go out I see a windscreen-wiper

    In an empty car

Wiping away like mad and I feel astounded

    That things have gone so far.

And I come back here to my flat and wonder whether

    From now on I need take

The trouble to go out choosing stuff for curtains

    As I don't know anyone to make

Curtains quickly. Rather one should quickly

    Stop the cracks for gas or dig a trench

And take one's paltry measures against the coming

    Of the unknown Uebermensch.

But one -- meaning I -- is bored, am boredm the issue

    Involving principle but bound in fact.

To squander principle in panic and self-deception --

    Accessories after the act,

So that all we foresee is rivers in spate sprouting

    With drowning hands

And men like dead frogs floating till the rivers

    Lose themselves in the sands.

And we who have been brought up to think of 'Gallant Belgium'

    As so much blague

Are now preparing again to essay good through evil

    For the sake of Prague;

And must, we suppose, become uncritical, vindictive,

    And must, in order to beat

The enemy, model ourselves upon the enemy,

    A howling radio for our paraclete.

The night continues wet, the axe keeps falling,

    The hill grows bald and bleak

No longer one of the sights of London but maybe

    We shall have fireworks here by this day week.

viii

Sun shines easy, sun shines gay

    On bug-house, warehouse, brewery, market,

On the chocolate factory and the B.S.A.,

    On the Greek town hall and Josiah Mason;

On the Mitchells and Butlers Tudor pubs,

    On the white police and the one-way traffic

And glances of the chromium hubs

    And the metal studs in the sleek macadam.

Eight years back about this time

    I came to live in this hazy city

To work in a building caked with grime

    Teaching the classics to Midland students;

Virgil, livy, the usual round,

    Principal parts and the lost digamma;

And to hear the prison-like lecture room resound

    To Homer in a Dudley accent.

But Life was comfortable, life was fine

    With two in a bed and patchwork cushions

And checks and tassels on the washing-line,

    A gramophone, a cat, and the smell of jasmine.

The steaks were tender, the films were fun,

    The walls were striped like a Russian ballet,

There were lots of things undone

    But nobody cared, for the days were earlt.

Nobody niggled, nobody cared,

    The soul was deaf to the mounting debit,

The soul was unprepared

    But the firelight danced on the ply-wood ceiling.

We drove round Shropshire in a bijou car --

    Bewdley, Cleobury Mortimer, Ludlow --

And the map of England was a toy bazaar

    And the telephone wires were idle music.

And sun shone easy, sun shone hard

    On quickly dropping pear-tree blossom

And pigeons courting in the cobbled yeard

    With flashing necks and notes of thunder.

We slept in linen, we cooked with wine,

    We paid in cash and took no notice

Of how the train ran down the line

    Into the sun against the signal.

We lived in Birmingham through the slump --

    Line your boots with a piece of paper --

Sunlight dancing on the rubbish dump,

    On the queues of men and the hungry chimneys.

And the next election came --

    Labour defeats in Erdington and Aston;

And life went on -- for us went on the same;

    Who were we to count the losses?

Some went back to work and the void

    Took on shape while others climbing

The uphill nights of the unemployed

    Woke in the morning to factory hooters.

Little on the plate and nothing in the post;

    Queue in the rain or try the public

Library where the eye may coast

    Columns of print for a hopeful harbour.

But roads ran easy, roads ran gay

    Clear of the city and we together

Could put on tweeds for a getaway

    South or west to Clee or the Cotswolds;

Forty to the gallon; into the green

    Fields in the past of English history;

Flies in the bonnet and dust on the screen

    And no look back to the burning city.

That was then and now is now

    Here again on a passing visit,

Passing through but how

    Memory blocks the passage.

Just as in 1931

    Sun shines easy but I no longer

Docket a place in the sun --

    No wife, no ivory tower, no funk-hole.

The night grows purple, the crisis hangs

    Over the roofs like a Persian army

And all of Xenophon's parasangs

    Would take us only an inch from danger.

Black-out practice and A.R.P.,

    Newsboys driving a roaring business,

The flapping paper snatched to see

    If anything has, or has not, happened.

And I go to the Birmingham Hippodrome

    Packed to the roof and primed for laughter

And beautifully at home

    With the ukulele and the comic chestnuts;

'As pals we meet, as pals we part' --

    Embonpoint and a new tiara;

The comedian spilling the apple-cart

    Of double entendres and doggerel verses

And the next day begins

    Again with alarm and anxious

Listening to bulletins

    From distant, measured voices

Arguing for peace

    While the zero hour approaches,

While the eagles gather and the petrol and oil and grease

    Have all been applied and the vultures back the eagles.

But once again

    The cirsis is put off and things look better

And we feel negotiation is not vain --

    Save my skin and damn my conscience.

And negotiation wins,

    If you can call it winning,

And here we are -- just as before -- safe in our skins;

    Glory to God for Munich.

And stocks go up and wrecks

    Are salved and politicians' reputations

Go up like Jack-on-the-Beanstalk; only the Czechs

    Go down and without fighting.

ix

Now we are back to normal, now the ind is

    Back to the even tenor of the usual day

Skidding no longer across the uneasy camber

    Of the nightmare way.

We are safe though others have crashed the railings

    Over the river ravine; their wheel-tracks carve the bank

But after the event all we can do is argue

    And count the widening ripples where they sank.

October comes with rain whipping through the ankles

    In waves of white at night

And filling the raw clay trenches (the parks of London

    Are a nasty sight).

In a week I return to work, lecturing, coaching,

    As impresario of the Ancient Greeks

Who wore the chiton and lived on fish and olives

    And talked philosophy or smut in cliques;

Who believed in youth and did not gloze the unpleasant

    Consequences of age;

What is life, one said, or what is pleasant

    Once you have turned the page

Of love? The days grow worse, the dice are loaded

    Against the living man who pays in tears for breath;

Never to be born was the best, call no man happy

    This side death.

Conscious -- long before Engels -- of necessity

    And therein free

They plotted out their life with truism and humour 

    Between the jealous heaven and the callous sea.

And Pindar sang the garland of wild olive

    And Alcibiades lived from hand to mouth

Double-crossing Athens, Persia, Sparta,

    And many died in the city of plague, and many of drouth

In Sicilian quarries, and many by the spear and arrow

    And many more who told their lies too late

Caught in the eternal factions and reactions 

    Of the city-state.

And free speech shivered on the pikes of Macedonia

    And later on the swords of Rome

And Athens became a mere university city

    And the goddess born of the foam

Became the kept hetaera, heroine of Menander,

    And the philosopher narrowed his focus, confined

His efforts to putting his own soul in order

    And keeping a quiet mind

And for a thousand years they went on talking,

    Making such apt remarks,

A race no longer of heroes but of professors

    And crooked business men and secretaries and clerks;

Who turned out dapper litlle elegiac verses

    On the ironies of fate, the transience of all

Affections, carefully shunning an over-statement

    But working the dying fall.

The Glory that was Greece: put it in a syllabus, grade it

    Page by Page

To train the mind or even to point a moral

    For the present age:

Models of logic and lucidity, dignity, sanity,

    The golden mean between opposing ills

Though there were exceptions of course but only exceptions --

    The bloody Bacchanals on the Thracian hills.

So the humanist in his room with Jacobean panels

    Chewing his pipe and looking on a lazy quad

Chops the Ancient World to turn a sermon

    To the greater glory of God.

But I can do nothing so useful or so simple;

    These dead are dead

And when I should remember the paragons of Hellas

    I think instead

Of the crooks, the adventurers, the opportunists,

    The careless athletes and the fancy boys,

The hair-splitters, the pedants, the hard-boiled sceptics

    And the Agora and the noise

Of the demagogues and the quacks; and the women pouring

    Libations over graves

And the trimmers at Delphi and the dummies at Sparta and lastly

    I think of the slaves.

And how one can imagine oneself among them

    I do not know;

It was all so unimaginably different

    And all so long ago.

x

And so return to work -- the M.A. gown,

    Alphas and Betas, central heating, floor-polish,

Demosthenes on the Crown

    And Oedipus and Colonus.

And I think of the beginnings of other terms

    Coming across the sea to unknown England

And memory reaffirms

    That alarm and exhilaration of arrival:

White wooden boxes, clatter of boots, a smell

    Of changing-rooms -- Lifebuoy soap and muddy flannels --

And over all a bell

    Dragooning us to dormitory or classroom,

Ringing wiht a tongue of frost across the bare

    Benches and desks escutcheoned with initals;

We sat on the hot pipes by the wall, aware

    Of the cold in our bones and the noise and the bell impending.

A fishtail gas-flare in the dark latrine;

    Chalk and ink and rows of pegs and lockers;

The War was on -- maize and margarine

    And lessons on the map of Flanders.

But we had our toys -- our electric torches, our glass

    Dogs and cats, and plasticine and conkers,

And we had our games, we learned to dribble and pass

    In jerseys striped like tigers.
And we had our makebelieve, we had our mock

    Freedom in walks by twos and threes on Sunday,

We dug our fossils from the yellow rock

    Or drank the Dorset distance.

And we had our little tiptoe minds, alert

    To jump for facts and fancies and statistics

And our little jokes of Billy Bunter dirt

    And a heap of home-made dogma.

The Abbey chimes varnished the yellow street,

    The water from the taps in the bath was yellow,

The trees were full of owls, the sweets were sweet

    And life an expanding ladder.

And reading romances we longed to be grown up,

    To shoot from the hip and marry lovely ladies

And smoke cigars and live on claret cup

    And lie in bed in the morning;

Taking it for granted that things would still

    Get better and bigger and better and bigger and better,

That the road across the hill

    Led to the Garden of Eden;

Everything to expect and nothing to deplore,

    Cushy days beyond the dumb horizon

And nothing to doubt about, to linger for

    In the halfway house of childhood.

And certainly we did not linger, we went on

    Growing and growing, gluttons for the future,

And four foot six was gone

    And we found it was time to be leaving

To be changing school, sandstone changed for chalk

    And ammonites for the flinty husks of sponges,

Another lingo to talk

    And jerseys in other colours.

And still the acquiring of unrelated facts,
    A string of military dates for history,

And the Gospels and the Acts

    And logarithms and Greek and the Essays of Elia;

And still the exhilarating rhythm of free

    Movement swimming or serving at tennis,

The five-courts' tattling repartee

    Or rain on the sweating body.

But life began to narrow to what was done --

    The dominant gerundive --

And Number Two must mimic Number One

    In bearing, swearing, attitude and accent.

And so we jettisoned all

    Our childish fantasies and anarchism;

The weak must go to the wall

    But strength implies the system;

You must lose your soul to be strong, you cannot stand

    Alone on your own legs or your own ideas;

The order of the day is complete conformity and

    An automatic complacence.

Such was the order of the day; only at times

    The Fool among the yes-men flashed his motley

To prick their pseudo-reason with his rhymes

    And drop his grain of salt on court behaviour.

And sometimes a whisper in books

    Would challenge the code, or a censored memory sometimes,

Sometimes the explosion of rooks,

    Sometimes the mere batter of light on the senses.

And the critic jailed in the mind would peep through the grate

    And husky from long silence, murmur gently

That there is something rotten in the state

    Of Denmark but the state is not the whole of Denmark;

And a spade is still a spade

    And the difference is not final between a tailored

Suit and a ready-made

    And knowledge is not -- necessarily --wisdom;

And a cultured accent alone will not provide

    A season ticket to the Vita Nuova;

And there are many better men outside

    Than ever answered roll-call.

But the critic did not win, has not won yet

    Though always reminding us of points forgotten;

We hasten to forget

    As much as he remembers.

And school was what they always said it was,

    An apprenticeship to life, an intiation,

And all the better because

    The inititates were blindfold;

The reflex action of a dog or sheep

    Being enough for normal avocations

And life rotating in an office sleep

    As long as things are normal.

Which it was assumed that they would always be;

    On that assumptions terms began and ended;

And now, in 1938 A.D.,

    Term is again beginning.

xi

But work is alien; what do I care for the Master

    Of those who know, of those who know too much?

I am too harassed by my familiar devils,

    By those I cannot see, by those I may not touch;

Knowing perfectly well in the mind, on paper,

    How wasteful and absurd

Are personal fixations but yet the pulse keeps thrumming

    And her voice is faintly heard

Through the walls and walls of indifference and abstraction

    And across the London roods

And every so often calls up hopes from nowhere,

    A distant clatter of hoofd,

And my common sense denies she is returning

    And says, if she does return, she will not stay;

And my pride, in the name of reason, tells me to cut my losses

    And call it a day.

Which, if I had the cowardice of my convictions,

    I certainly should do

But doubt still finds a loophole

    To gamble on another rendezvous.

And I try to feel her in fancy but the fancy

    Dissolves in curls of mist

And I try to summarise her but how can hungry

    Love be a proper analyst?

For suddenly I hate her and would murder

    Her memory if I could

And of a suffen I see her sleeping gently

    Inaccessible in a sleeping wood

But thorns and thorns around her

    And the cried of night

And I have no knife or axe to hack my passage

    Back to the lost delight.

And then I think of the others and jealousy riots

    In impossible schemes

To kill them with all the machinery of fact and with all the

    Tortures of dreams.

But yet, my dear, if only for my own distraction,

    I have to try to assess

Your beauty of body, your paradoxes of spirit,

    Even your taste in dress.

Whose emotions are an intricate dialectic,

    Whose eagerness to live

A many-sided life might be deplored as fickle,

    Unpractical, or merely inquisitive.

A superficial comment; for your instinct

    Sanctions all you do,

Who know that truth is nothing in abstraction,

    That action makes both wish and principle come true;

Whose changes have the logic of a prism,

    Whose moods creatte,

Who never linger haggling on the threshold,

    To weigh the pors and cons until it is too late.

At times intractable, virulent, hypercritical,

    With a bitter tongue;

Over-shy at times, morose, defeatist,

    At times a token that the world is young;

Given to over-statement, careless of caution,

    Quick to sound the chimes

Of delicate intuition, at times malicious

    And generous at times.

Whose kaeidoscopic ways are all authentic,

    Whose truth is not of a statement but of a dance

So that even when you deceive your deceits are merely

    Technical and of no significance.

And so, when I think of you, I have to meet you

    In thought on your own ground;

To apply to you my algebraic canons

    Would merely be unsound;

And, having granted this, I cannot balance

    My hopes or fears of you in pros and cons;

It has been proved that Achilles cannot catch the Tortoise,

    It has been proved that men are automatons,

Everything wrong has been proved. I will not bother

    Any more with proof;

I see the future glinting wiht your presence

    Like moon on a slate roof,

And my spirits rise again. It is October,

    The year-god dying on the destined pyre

With all the colours of a scrambled sunset

    And all the funeral elegance of fire

In the grey world to lie cocooned but shaping

    His gradual return;

No one can stop the cycle;

    The grate is full of ash but fire will always burn.

Therefore, listening to the taxis

    (In which you never come) so regularly pass,

I wait content, banking on the spring and watching

    The dead leaves canter over the dowdy grass.

xii

These days are misty, insulated, mute

    Like a faded tapestry and the soft pedal

Is down and the yellow leaves are falling down

    And we hardly have the heart to meddle

Any more with personal ethics or public calls;

    People have not recovered from the crisis,

Their faces are far away, the tone of the words

    Belies their thesis.

For they say that now it is time unequivocally to act,

    To let the pawns be taken,

That criticism, a virtue previously,

    Now can only weaken

And that when we go to Rome

    We must do as the Romans do, cry out together

For bread and circuses; put on your togas now

    For this is Roman weather.

Circuses of death and from the topmost tiers

    A cataract of goggling, roaring faces;

On the arena sand

    Those who are about to die try out their paces.

Now it is night, a cold mist creesps, the night

    Is still and damp and lonely;

Sitting by the fire it is hard to realise

    That the legions wait at the gates and that there is only

A little time for rest though not by rights for rest,

    Rather for whetting the will, for calculating

A compromise between necessity and wish,

    Apprenticed late to learn the trade of hating.

Remember the sergeant barking at bayonet practice

    When you were small;

To kill a dummy you must act a dummy

    Or you cut no ice at all.

Now it is morning again, the 25th of October,

    In a white fog the cars have yellow lights;

The chill creeps up the wrists, the sun is sallow,

    The silent hours grow down like stalactites.

And reading Plato talking about his Forms

    To damn the artist touting round his mirror,

I am glad that I have been left the third best bed

    And live in a world of error.

His world of capital initials, of transcendent

    Ideas is too bleak;

For me there remain to all intents and purposes

    Seven days in the week

And no one Tuesday is another and you destroy it

    If you subtract the difference and relate

It merely to the Form of Tuesday. This is Tuesday

    The 25th of October, 1938.

Aristotle was better who watched the insect breed,

    The natural world develop,

Stressing the function, scrapping the Form in Itself,

    Taking the horse from the shelf and letting it gallop.

Education gives us too many labels

    And cliches, cuts too many Gordian knots;

Trains us to keep the roads nor reconnoitre

    Any of the beauty-spots or danger-spots.

Not that I would rather be a peasant; the Happy Peasant

    Like the Noble Savage is a myth;

I do not envy the self-possession of an elm-tree

    Nor the aplomb of a granite monolith.

All that I would like to be is human, having a share

    In a civilised, articulate and well-adjusted

Community where the mind is given its due

    But the body is not distrusted.

As it is, the so-called humane studies

    May lead to cushy jons

But leave the men who land them spiritually bankrupt

    Intellectual snobs.

Not but what I am glad to have my comforts,

    Better authentic mammon than a bogus god;

If it were not for Lit.Hum. I might be climbing

    A ladder with a hod.

And seven hundred a year

    Will pay the rent and the gas and the 'phone and the grocer;

(The Emperor takes his seat beneath the awning,

    Those who are about to die . . . ) Come, pull the curtains closer.

xiii

Which things being so, as we said when we studied

    The classics, I ought to be glad

That I studied the classics at Marlborough and Merton,

    Not everyone here having had

The privilege of learning a language

    That is incontrovertibly dead,

And of carting a toy-box of hall-marked marmoreal phrases

    Around in his head.

We wrote compositions in Greek which they said was a lesson

    In logic and good for the brain;

We marched, counter-marched to the field-marshal's blue-pencil baton,

    We dressed by the right and we wrote out the sentence again.

We learned that a gentleman never misplaces his accents,

    That nobody knows how to speak, much less how to write

English who has not hob-nobbed with the great-grand-parents of English,

    That the boy on the Modern Side is merely a parasite

But the classical student is bred to the purple, his training in syntax

    Is also a training in thought

And even in morals; if called to the bar or the barracks

    He always will do what he ought.

And knowledge, besides, should be prized for the sake of knowledge:

    Oxford crowded the mantelpiece with gods --

Scaliger, Heinsius, Dindorf, Bently and Wilamowitz --

    As we learned our genuflexions for Honour Mods.

And then they taught us philosophy, logic and metaphysics,

    The Negative Judgement and the Ding an Sich,

And every single thinker was powerful as Napolean

    And crafty as Metternich.

And it really was very attractive to be able to talk about tables

    And to ask if the table is,

And to draw the cork out of an old conundrum

    And watch the paradoxes fizz.

And it made one confident to think that nothing

    Really was what it seemed under the sun,

That the actual was not real and the real was not with us

    And all that mattered was the One.

And they said 'The man in the street is so naive, he never

    Can see the wood for the trees;

He thinks he knows he sees a thing but cannot

    Tell you how he knows the thing he thinks he sees.'

And oh how much I liked the Concrete Universal,

    I never thought that I should

Be telling them vice-versa

    That they can't see the trees for the wood.

But certainly it was fun while it lasted

    And I got my honous degree

And was stamped as a person of intelligence and culture

    For ever wherever two or three

Persons of intelligence and culture

    Are gathered together in talk

Writing definitions on invisible blackboards

    In non-existent chalk.

But such sacramental occasions

    Are nowadays compratively rare;

There is always a wife or a boss or a dun or a client

    Disturbing the air.

Barbarians always, life in the particular always,

    Dozens of men in the street,

And the perennial if unimportant problem

    Of getting enough to eat.

So blow the bugles over the metaphysicians,

    Let the pure mind return to the Pure Mind;

I must be content to remain in the world of Appearance

    And sit on the mere appearance of a behind.

But in case you should think my education was wasted

    I hasten to explain

That having once been to the University of Oxford

    You can never really again

Believe anything that anyone says and that of course is an asset

    In a world like ours;

Why bother to water a garden

    That is planted with paper flowers?

O the Freedom of the Press, the Late Night Final,

    To-morrow's pulp;

One should not gulp one's port but as it isn't

    Port, I'll gulp it if I want to gulp

But probably I'll just enjoy the colour

    And pour it down the sink

For I don't call advertisement a statement

    Or any quack medicine a drink.

Good-bye now, Plato and Hegel,

    The shop is closing down;

They don't want any philosopher-kings in England,

    There ain't no universals in this man's town.

xiv

The next day I drove by night

    Among red and amber and green, spears and candles,

Corckscrews and slivers of reflected light

    In the mirror of the rainy asphalt

Along the North Circular and the Great West roads

    Running the gauntlet of impoverished fancy

Where housewives bloster up their jerry-built abodes

    With amour propre and the habit of Hire Purchase.

The wheels whished in the wet, the flashy strings

    Of neon lights unravelled, the windscreen-wiper

Kept at its job like a tiger in a cage or a cricket that sings

    All night through for nothing.

Factory, a site for a factory, rubbish dumps,

    Bungalows in lath and plaster, in brick, in concrete,

And shining semi-circles of petrol pumps

    Like intrasigent gangs of idols.

And the road swings round my head like a lassoo

    Looping wider and wider tracts of darkness

And the country succeeds the town and the country too

    Is damp and dark and evil.

And coming over the Chilterns the dead leaves leap

    Charging the windscreen like a barrage of angry

Birds as I take the steep

    Plunge to Henley or Hades.

And at the curves of the road the telephone wires

    Shine like strands of silk and the hedge solicits

My irresponsible tyres

    To an accident, to a bed in the wet grasses.

And in quiet crooked streets only the village pub

    Spills a golden puddle

Over the pavement and trees bend down and rub

    Unopened dormer windows with their knuckles.

Nettlebed, Shillingford, Dorchester - each unrolls

    The road to Oxford; Qu'allais faire to-morrow

Driving voters to the polls

    In that home of lost illusions?

And what am I doing it for?

    Mainly for fun, partly for a half-believed-in

Principle, a core

    Of fact in a pulp of verbiage,

Remembering that this crude and so-called obsolete

    Top-heavy tedious parliamentary system

Is our only ready weapon to defeat

    The legions' eagles and the lictors' axes;

And remembering that those who by their habit hate

    Politics can no longer keep their private

Values unless they open the public gate

    To a better political system.

That Rome was not built in a day is no excuse

    For laissez-faire, for bowing to the odds against us;

What is the use

   Of asking what is the use of one brick only:

The perfectionist stands for ever in a fog

    Waiting for the fog to clear; better to be vulgar

And use your legs and leave a blank for Hogg

    And put a cross for Lindsay.

There are only too many who say 'What difference does it make

    One way or the other?

To turn the stream of history will take

    More than a by-election.'

So Thursday came and Oxford went to the polls

    And made its coward vote and the streets resounded

To the triumphant cheers of the lost souls --

    The profiteers, the dunderheads, the smarties.

And I drove back to London in the dark of the morning, the trees

    Standing out in the headlights cut from cardboard;

Wondering which disease

    Is worse -- the Status Quo or the Mere Utopia.

For from now on

    Each occasion must be used, however trivial,

To rally the ranks of those whose chance will soon be gone

    For even guerrilla warfare.

The nicest people in England have always been the least

    Apt ro solidarity or alignment

But all of them must now align against the beast

    That prowls at every door and barks in every headline.

Dawn and London and daylight and last the sun:

    I stop the car and take the yellow placard

Off the bonnet; that little job is done

    Though without success or glory.

The plane-tree leaves come sliding down

    (Catch my guineas, catch my guineas)

And the sun caresses Camden Town,

    The barrows of oranges and apples

xv

Shelley and jazz and lieder and love and hymn-tunes

    And day returns too soon;

We'll get drunk among the roses

    In the valley of the moon.

Give me an aphrodisiac, give me lotus,

    Give me the same again;

Make all the erotic poets of Rome and Ionia

    And Florence and Provence and Spain

Pay a tithe of their sugar to my potion

    And ferment my days

With the twang of Hawaii and the boom of the Congo;

    Let the old Muse loosen her stays

Or give me a new Muse with stockings and suspenders

    And a smile like cat,

With false eyelashes and finger-nails of carmine

    And dressed by Schiaparelli, with a pill-box hat,

Let the aces run riot around Brooklands,

    Let the tape-machines go drunk,

Turn on the purple spotlight, pull out the Vox Humana,

    Dig up somebody's body in a cloakroom trunk.

Give us sensations and then again sensations --

    Strip-tease, fireworks, all-in wrestling, gin;

Spend your capital, open your house and pawn your padlocks,

    Let the critical sense go out and the Roaring Boys come in.

Give me a houri but houris are too easy,

    Give me a nun;

We'll rape the angels off the golden reredos

    Before we're done.

Tiger-women and Lesbos, drums and entrails,

    And let the skies rotate,

We'll play roulette with the stars, we'll sit out drinking

    At the Hangman's Gate.

O look who comes here. I cannot see their faces

    Walking in file, slowly in file;

They have no shoes on their feet, the knobs of their ankles

    Catch the moonlight as they pass the stille

And cross the moor among the skeletons of bog-oak

    Following the track from the gallows back to the town;

Each has the end of a rope around his neck. I wonder

    Who let thesemen come back, who cut them down --

And now they reach the gate and line up opposite

    The neon lights on the medieval wall

And underneath the sky-signs

    Each one takes his cowl and lets it fall

And we see their faces, each the same as the other,

    Men and women, each like a closed door,

But something about their faces is familiar;

    Where have we seen them before?

Was it the murderer on the nursery ceiling

    Or Judas Iscariot in the Field of Blood

Or someone at Gallipoli or in Flanders

    Caught in the end-all mud.

But take no notice of them, out with the ukulele,

    The saxophone and the dicel

They are sure to go away if we take no notice;

    Another round of drinks or make it twice.

That was a good one, tell us another, don't stop talking,

    Cap your stories; if

You haven't any new ones tell the old ones,

    Tell them as often as you like and perhaps those horrible stiff

People with blank faces that are yet familiar

    Won't be there when you look again, but don't

Look just yet, give them time to vanish. I said to vanish;

    What do you mean -- they won't?

Give us the songs of Harlem or Mitylene --

    Pearls in wine --

There can't be a hell unless there is a heaven

    And a devil would have to be divine

And there can't be such things one way or the other;

    That we know;

You can't step into the same river twice so there can't be

    Ghosts; thank God that rivers always flow.

Sufficient to the moment is the moment;

    Past and future merely don't make sense

And yet I thought I had seen them . . .

    But how, if there is only a present tense?

Come on, boys, we aren't afraid of bogies,

    Give us another drink;

This little lady has a fetish,

    She goes to bed in mink.

This little pig went to the market --

    Now I think you may look, I think the coast is clear.

Well, why don't you answer?

    I can't answer because they are still there.

xvi

Nightmares leave fatigue:

    We envy men of action

Who sleep and wake, murder and intrigue

    Without being doubtful, without being haunted.

And I envy the intransigence of my own

    Countrymen who shoot to kill and never

See the victim's face become their own

    Or find his motives sabotage their motives.

So reading the memoirs of Maud Gonne,

    Daughter of an English mother and a soldier father,

I note how a single purpose can be founded on

    A jumble of opposites:

Dublin Castle, the vice-regal ball,

    The embassies of Europe,

Hatred scribbled on a wall,

    Gaols and revolvers.

And I remember, when I was little, the fear

    Bandied among the servants

That Casement would land at the pier

    With a sword and a horde of rebels;

And how we used to expect, at a later date,

    When the wind blew from the west, the noise of shooting

Starting in the evening at eight

    In Belfast in the York Street district;

And the voodo of the Orange bands

    Drawing an iron net through darkest Ulster,

Flailing the limbo lands --

    The linen mills, the long wet grass, the ragged hawthorn.

And one read black where the other read white, his hope

    The other man's damnation:

Up the Rebels, To Hell with the Pope,

    And God Save -- as you prefer -- the King or Ireland.

The land of scholars and saints:

    Scholars and saints my eye, the land of ambush,

Purblind manifestoes, never-ending complaints,

    The born martyr and the gallant ninny;

The grocer drunk with the drum,

    The land-owner shot in his bed, the angry voices

Piercing the broken fanlight in the slum,

    The shawled woman weeping at the garish altar.

Kathaleen ni Houlihan! Why

    Must a country, like a ship or a car, be always female,

Mother or sweetheart? A woman passing by,

    We did but see her passing.

Passing like a patch of sun on the rainy hill

    And yet we love her for ever and hate our neighbour

And each one in his will

    Binds his heirs to continuance of hatred.

Drums on the hacycock, drums on the harvest, black

    Drums in the night shaking the windows:

King William is riding his white horse back

    To the Boyne on a banner.

Thousands of banners, thousands of white

    Horses, thousands of Williams

Waving thousands of swords and ready to fight

    Till the blue sea turns to orange.

Such was my country and I thought I was well

    Out of it, educated and domiciled in England,

Though yet her name keeps ringing like a bell

    In an under-water belfry..

Why do we like being Irish? Partly because

    It gives us a hold on the sentimental English

As members of a world that never was,

    Baptised with fairy water;

And partly because Ireland is small enough

    To be still thought of with a family feeling,

And because the waves are rough

    That split her from a more commercial culture;

And because one feels that here at least one can

    Do local work which is not at the world's mercy

And that on this tiny stage with luck a man

    Might see the end of one particular action.

It is self-deception of course;

    There is no immunity in this island either;

A cart that is drawn by somebody else's horse

    And carrying goods to somebody else's market.

The bombs in the turnip sack, the sniper from the roof,

    Griffith, Connolly, Collins, where have they brought us?

Ourselves alone! Let the round tower stand aloof

    In a world of bursting mortar!

Let the school-children fumble their sums

    In a half-dead language;

Let the censor be busy on the books; pull down the Georgian slumsl

    Let the games be played in Gaelic.

Let them grow beet-sugar; let them build

    A factory in every hamlet;

Let them pigeon-hole the souls of the killed

    Into sheep and goats, patriots and traitors.

And the North, where I was a boy,

    Is still the North, veneered with the grime of Glasgow,

Thousands of men whom nobody will employ

    Standing at the corners, coughing.

And the street-children play on the wet

    Pavement - hopscotch or marbles;

And each righ family boasts a sagging tennis-net

    On a spongy lawn beside a dripping shrubbery.

The smoking chimneys hint

    At prosperity round the corner

But they make their Ulster linen from foreign lint

    And the money that comes in goes out to make more money.

A city built upon mud;

    A culture built upon profitl;

Free speech nipped in the bud,

    The minority always guilty.

Why should I want to go back

    To you, Ireland, my Ireland?

The blots on the page are so black

    That they cannot be covered with shamrock.

I hate your grandiose airs,

    Your sob-stuff, your lauch and your swagger,

Your assumption that everyone cares

    Who is the king of your castle.

Castles are out of date,

    The tide flows round the children's sandy fancy;

Put up what flag you like, it is too late

    To save your soul with bunting.

Odi atque amo:

    Shall we cut this name on trees with a rusty dagger?

Her mountains are still blue, her rivers flow

    Bubbling over the boulders.

She is both a bore and a bitch;

    Better close the horizon,

Send her no more fantasy, no more longings which

    Are under a fatal tariff.

For common sense is the vogue

    And she gives her children neither sense nor money

Who sloch around the world with a gesture and a brogue

    And a faggot of useless memories.

xvii

From the second floor up, looking north, having breakfast

    I see the November sun at nine o'clock

Gild the fusty brickwork of rows on rows of houses

    Like animals asleep and breathing smoke

And savouring Well-being

    I light my first cigarette, grow giddy and blink,

Glad of this titllation, this innuendo,

    This make-believe of standing on a brink;

For all our trivial daily acts are altered

    Into heroic or romantic make-believe

Of which we are hardle conscious -- Who is it calls me

    When the cold draught picks my sleeve?

Or sneezing in the morning sunlight or smelling the bonfire

    Over the webbed lawn and the naked cabbage plot?

Or stepping into a fresh-filled bath with strata

    Of cold water and hot?

We lie in the bath between tiled walls and under

    Ascending scrolls of steam

And feel the efo merge as the pores open

    And we lie in the bath and dream;

And responsibility dies and the thighs are happy

    And the body purrs like a cat

But this lagoon grows cold, we have to leave it, stepping

    On to a check rug on a cork mat.

The luxury life is only to be valued

    By those who are short of money or pressed for time

As the cinema gives the poor their Jacob's ladder

    For Cinderallas to climb.

And Plato was right to define the bodily pleasures

    As the pouring water into a hungry sieve

But wrong to ignore the rhythm which the intercrossing

    Coloured waters permanently give.

And Aristotle was right to posit the Alter Ego

    But wrong to make it only a halfway house:

Who could expect -- or want -- to be spiritually self-supporting,

    Eternal self-abuse?

Why not admit that other people are always

    Organic to the self, that a monologue 

Is the death of language and that a single lion

    Is less himself, or alive, than a dog and another dog?

Virtue going out of us always; the eyes grow weary

    With vision but it is vision builds the eye;

And in a sense the children jill their parents

    But do the parents die?

 And the beloved destroys like fire or water

    But water scours and sculps and fire refines

And if you are going to read the testaments of cynics,

    You must read between the lines.

A point here and a point there: the current

    Jumps the gaps, the ego cannot live

Without becoming other for the Other

    Has got yourself to give.

And even the sense of taste provides communion

    With God as plant or beast;

The sea in fish, the field in a salad of endive,

    A sacramental feast.

The soul's long searchlight hankers for a body,

    The single body hungers for its kind,

The eye demands the light at the risk of blindness

    And the mind that did not doubt would not be mind

And discontent is eternal. In lucury or business,

    In family or sexual love, in purchases or prayers,

Our virtue is invested, the self put out at interest,

    The returns are never enough, the fact compares

So badly with the fancy yet fancy itself is only

    A divination of fact

And if we confine the world to the prophet's tripod

    The subjects of our prophecy contract.

Open the world wide, open the senses,

    Let the soul stretch its blind enormous arms,

There is vision in the fingers only needing waking,

    Ready for light's alarms.

O light, terror of light, hoofs and ruthless

    Wheels of steel and brass

Dragging behind you lacerated captives

    Who also share your triumph as you pass.

Light which is time, belfry of booming sunlight,

    The ropes run up and down,

The whole town shakes with the peal of living people

    Who break and build the town.

Aristotle was right to think of man-in-action

    As the essential and really existent man

And man means men in action; try and confine your

    Self to yourself if you can.

Nothing is self-sufficient, pleasure implies hunger

    But hunger implies hope:

I cannot lie in this bath for ever, clouding

    The cooling water with rose geranium soap.

I cannot drug my life with the present moment;

    The present moment may rape -- but all in vain --

The future, for the future remains a virgin

    Who must be tried again.

xviii

In the days that were early the music came easy

    On cradle and coffin, in the corn and the barn,

Songs for the reaping and spiining and only the shepherd 

    Then as not was silent beside the tarn:

Cuffs of foam around the beer-brown water,

    Crinkled water and a mackerel sky;

It is all in the day's work -- the grey stones and heather

    And the sheep that breed and break their legs and die.

The uplands now as then are fresh but in the valley

    Polluted rivers run -- the Lethe and the Styx;

The soil is tired and the profit little and the hunchback

    Bobs on arthorse round the sodden ricks.

Sing us no more idylls, no more pastorals,

    No more epics of the English earth;

The country is a dwindling annexe to the factory,

    Squalid as an after-birth.

This England is tight and narrow, teeming wiht unwanted

    Children who are so many, each is alone;

Niobe and her children

    Stand beneath the smokestack turned to stone.

And still the church-bells brag above the empty churches

    And the Union Jack

Thumps the wind above the law-courts and the barracks

    And in the allotments the black

Scarecrow holds a fort of grimy heads of cabbage

    Besieged by grimy birds

Like a hack politician fighting the winged aggressor

    With yesterday's magic coat of ragged words.

Things were different when men felt their programme

    In the bones and pulse, not only in the brain,

Born to a trade, a belief, a set of affections;

    That instinct for belied may sprout again,

There are some who have never lost it

    And some who foster or force it into growth

But most of us lack the right discontent, contented

    Merely to cavil. Spiritual sloth

Creeps like lichen or ivy over the hinges

    Of the doors which never move;

We cannot even remember who is behind them

    Nor even, soon, shall have the chance to proce

If anyone at all is behind them --

    The Sleeping Beauty or the Holy Ghost

Or the greatest happiness of the greatest number;

    All we can do at most 

Is press an anxious ear aganist the keyhole

    To hear the Future breathing; softly tread

In the outer porch beneath the marble volutes --

    Who knows if God, as Nietzsche said, is dead?

There is straw to lay in the streets; call the hunchback,

    The gentleman farmer, the village idiot, the Shroshire Lad,

To insulate us if they can with coma

    Before we all go mad.

What shall we pray for, Lord? Whom shall we pray to?

    Shall we give like decadent Athens the benefit of the doubt

To the Unknown God or smugly pantheistic

    Assume that God is everywhere round about?

But if we assume such a God, then who the devil

    Are these with empty stomachs or empty smiles?

The blind man's stick goes tapping on the pavement

    For endless glittering miles

Beneath the standard lights; the paralytic winding

    His barrel-organ sprays the passers-by

With April music; the many-ribboned hero

    With half a lung or a leg waits his turn to die.

God forbid an Indian acquiescence,

    The apotheosis of the status quo;

If everything that happens happens according

    To the nature and wish of God, then God must go:

Lay your straw in the streets and go about your business

    An inch at a time, an inch at a time,

We have not even an hour to spend repenting

    Our sins; the quarters chime

And every minute is its own alarum clock

    And what we are about to do

Is of vastly more importance

    Than what we have done or not done hitherto.

It is December now, the trees are naked

    As the three crosses on the hill;

Through the white fog the face of the orange sun is cryptic

    Like a lawyer making the year's will.

The year has little to show, will leave a heavy

    Overdraft to its heir;

Shall we try to meet the deficit or passing

    By on the other side continue laissez-faire?

International betrayals, public murder,

    The devil quoting scripture, the traitor, the coward, the thug

Eating dinner in the name of peace and progress,

    The doped public sucking a dry dug;

Official recognition of rape, revival of the ghetto

    And free speech gagged and free

Energy scrapped and dropped like surplus herring

    Back into the barren sea;

Brains and beauty festering in exile,

    The shadow of bars

Falling across each page, each field, each raddled sunset,

    The alien lawn and the pool of nenuphars;

And hordes of homeless poor running the gauntlet

    In hostile city streets of white and violet lamps

Whose flight is without a terminus but better

    Than the repose of concentration camps.

Come over, they said, into Macedonia and help us

    But the chance is gone;

Now we must help ourselves, we can leave the vulture

    To pick the corpses clean in Macedon.

No wonder many would renounce their birthright,

    The responsbility of moral choice,

And sit with a mess of pottage taking orders

    Out of a square box from a mad voice --

Lies on the air endlessly repeated

    Turning the air to fog,

Blanket on blanket of lie, no room to breathe or fidget

    And nobody to jog

Your elbow and say 'Up therethe sun is rising;

    Take it on trust, the sun will always shine.'

The sun may shine no doubt but how many people

    Will see it with their eyes in 1939?

Yes, the earlier days had their music,

    We have some still to-day,

But the orchestra is due for the bonfire

    If things go on this way.

Still there are still the seeds of energy and choice

    Still alive even if forbidden, hidden,

And while a man has voice

    He may recover music.

xix

The pigeons riddle the London air,

    The shutter slides from the chain-store window,

The frock-coat statue stands in the square

    Caring for no one, caring for no one.

The night-shift men go home to bed,

    The kettle sings and the bacon sizzles;

Some are hungry and some are dead --

    A wistful face in a faded photo.

Under the stairs is a khaki cap;

    That was Dad's, Dad was a plumber --

You hear that dripping tap?

    He'd have had it right in no time.

No time now; Dad is dead,

    He left me five months gone or over;

Tam cari capitis, for such a well-loved head

    What shame in tears, what limit?

It is the child I mean,

    Born prematurely, strangled;

Dad was off the scene,

    He would have made no difference.

The stretchers run from ward to ward,

    The telephone rings in empty houses,

The torn shirt soaks on the scrubbing board,

    O what a busy morning.

Baby Croesus crawls in a pen

    With alphabetical bricks and biscuits;

The doll-dumb file of sandwichmen

    Carry lies from gutter to gutter.

The curate buys his ounce of shag,

    The typist tints her nails with coral,

The housewife with her shopping bag

    Watches the cleaver catch the naked

New Zealand sheep between the legs --

    What price now New Zealand?

The cocker spaniel sits and begs

    With eyes like a waif on the movies.

O what a busy morning,

    Engines start with a roar,

All the wires are buzzing,

    The tape-machines vomit on the floor.

And I feel that my mind once again is open,

    The lady is gone who stood in the way so long,

The hypnosis is over and no one

    Calls encore to the song.

When we are out of love, how were we ever in it?

    Where are the mountains and the mountain skies,

That heady air instinct with

    A strange sincerity which winged our lies?

The peaks have fallen in like dropping pastry:

    Now I could see her come

Around the corner without the pulse responding,

    The flowery orator in the heart is dumb,

His bag of tricks is empty, his over-statements,

    Those rainbow bubbles, have burst:

When we meet, she need not feel embarrased,

    The cad with the golden tongue has done his worst

And had no orders from me to mix his phrases rich,

    To make the air a carpet

For her to walk on; I only wonder which

    Day, which hour, I found this freedom.

But freedom is not so exciting,

    We prefer to be drawn

In the rush of the stars as they circle --

    A traffic that ends with dawn.

Now I am free of the stars

    And the word 'love' makes no sense, this history is almost

Ripe for the mind's museum -- broken jars

    That once held wine or perfume.

Yet looking at their elegance on the stands

    I feel a certain pride that only lately

(And yet so long ago) I held them in my hands

    While they were full and fragrant

So on this busy morning I hope, my dear,

    That you are also busy

With another vintage of another year;

    I wish you luck and I thank you for the party --

A good party though at the end my thirst

    Was worse than at the beginning

but never to have drunk no doubt would be the worst;

    Pain, they say, is always twin to pleasure.

Better to have these twins

    Than no children at all, very much better

To act for good and bad than have no sins

    And take no action either.

You were my blizzard who had been my bed

    But taking the whole series of blight and blossom

I would not choose a simpler crop instead;

    Thank you, my dear -- dear against my judgement.

xx

Nelson stands on a black pillar,

    The electric signs go off and on --

Distilleries and life insurance companies --

    The traffic circles, coming and gone,

Past the National Gallery closed and silent

    Where in their frames

Other worlds persist, the passions of the artist

    Caught like frozen flames:

The Primitives distilling from the cruel

    Legend a faith that is almost debonair,

Sebastian calmly waiting the next arrow,

    The crucifixion in the candid air:

And Venice lolling in wealth for ever under glass,

    Pearls in her hair, panther and velvet:

And the rococo picnic on the grass

    With wine and lutes and banter:

And the still life proclaiming with aplomb

    The self-content of bread or fruit or vases

And personality like a silent bomb

    Lurking in the formal portrait.

Here every day the visitors walk slowly

    Rocking along the parquet as if on a ship's deck

Feeling a vague affinity with the pictures

    Yet wary of these waves which gently peck

The side of the boat in passing; they are anxious

    To end the voyage, to land in their own time;

The sea of the past glimmers with white horses,

    A paradigm

Of life's sucessions, treacheries, recessions;

    The unfounded confidence of the dead affronts

Our own system of values

    Like airmen doing their stunts

Over our private garden; these arrogant Old Masters

    Swoop and loop and lance us with a quick

Shadow; we only want to cultivate our garden,

    Not for us the virtuoso, slick

Tricks of the airy region,

    For our part our feet are on the ground,

They should not be allowed to fly so low above us,

    Their premises are unsound

And history has refuted them and yet

    They cast their shadows on us like aspersions;

Propellors and white horses,

    Movement, movement, can we never forget

The movements of the past which should be dead?

    The mind of Socrates still clicks like scissors

And Christ who should lie quiet in the garden

    Flowered in flame instead.

                .        .        .        .        .

A week to Christmas, cards of snow and holly,

    Gimcracks in the shops,

Wishes and memories wrapped in tissue paper,

    Trinkets, gadgets and lollipops

And as if through coloured glasses

    We remember our childhood's thrill

Waking in the morning to the rustling of paper,

    The eiderdown heaped in a hill

Of wogs and dogs and bears and bricks and apples

    And the feeling that Christmas Day

Was a coral island in time where we land and eat our lotus

    But where we can never stay.

There was a star in the East, the magi in their turbans

    Brought their luxury toys

In homage to a child born to capsize their values

    And wreck their equipoise.

A smell of hay like peace in the dark stable --

    Not peace however but a sword

To cut the Gordian knot of logical self-interest,

    The fool-proof golden cord;

For Christ walked in where no philosopher treads

    But armed with more than folly,

Making the smooth place rough and knocking the heads

    Of Church and State together.

In honour of whom we have taken over the pagan

    Saturnalia for our annual treat

Letting the belly have its say, ignoring

    The spirit while we eat.

And Conscience still goes crying through the desert

    With sackcloth round his loins:

A week to Christmas -- hark the herald angels

    Beg for copper coins.

xxi

And when we clear away

    All this debris of day-by-day experience,

What comes out to light, what is there of value

    Lasting from day to day?

I sit in my room in comfort

    Looking at enormous flowers --

Equipment purchased with my working hours,

    A daily mint of perishable petals.

The figures of the dance repeat

    The unending cycle of making and spending money,

Eating our daily bread in order to earn in

    And earning in order to eat.

And is that all the story,

    The mainspring and the plot,

Or merely a mechanism without which not

    Any story could be written?

Sine qua non!

    Sine qua non indeed, we cannot ever

Live by soul alone; the soul without the stomach

    Would find its glory gone.

But the total cause outruns the mere condition,

    There is more to it than that;

Life would be (as it often seems) flat

    If it were merely a matter of not dying.
For each individual then

    Would be fighting a losing battle

But with life as collective creation

    The rout is rallied, the battle begins again.

Only give us the courage of our instinct,

    The will to truth and love's initiative,

Then we could hope to live

    A life beyond the self but self-completing.

And, as the emperor said, What is the use

    Of the minor loyalty --'Dear city of Cecrops',

Unless we have also the wider franchise, can answer

    'Dear city of Zeus '?

And so when the many regrets    

    Trouble us for the many lost affections,

Let us take the wider view before we count them

    Hopelessly bad debts.

For Cecrops has his rights as Zeus has his

    And every tree is a tree of branches

And every wood is a wood of trees growing

    And what has been contributes to what is.

So I am glad to have known them,

    The people or events apparently withdrawn;

The worls is round and there is always dawn

    Undeniably somewhere.

'Praised be thou, O Lord, for our brother the sun'

    Said the grey saint, laving his eyes in colour;

Who creates and destroys for ever

    And his cycle is never done.

In this room chrysanthemums and dahlias

    Like brandy hit the heart; the fire,

A small wild animal, furthers its desire

    Consuming fuel, self-consuming.

And flames are the clearest cut

    Of shapes and the most transient:

O fire, my spendthrift,

   May I spend like you, as reckless but

Giving as good return -- burn the silent

    Into running sound, deride the dark

And jump to glory from a single spark

    And purge the world and warm it.

The room grows cold, the flicker fades,

    The sinking ashes whisper, the fickle

Eye forgets but later will remember

    The radiant cavalcades.

The smoke has gone from the chimney,

    The water has flowed away under the bridge,

The silhouetted lovers have left the ridge,

     The flower has closed its calyx.

The crow's-feet have come to stay,

    The jokes no longer amuse, the palate

Rejects milk chocolate and Benedictine --

    Yesterday and the day before yesterday.

But oh, not now my love, but oh my friend,

    Can you not take it merely on trust that life is

The only thing worth living and that dying

    Had better be left to take care of itself in the end?

For to have been born is in itself a triumph

    Among all that waste of sperm

And it is gratitude to wait the proper term

    Or, if not gratitude, duty.

I know that you think these phrases high falutin

    And, when not happy, see no claim or use

For staying alive; the quiet hands seduce

    Of the god who is god of nothing.

And while I sympathise

    With the wish to quit, to make the great refusal,

I feel that such a defeat is also a treason,

    That deaths like these are lies.

A fire should be left burning

    Till it burns itself out:

We shan't have another chance to dance and shout

    Once the flames are silent.

xxii

December the nineteenth: over the black roofs

    And the one black paint-brush poplar

The white steam rises and deploys in puffs

    From the house-hidden railway, a northern

Geyser erupting in a land of lava,

    But white can be still whiter for now

The dun air starts to jig with specks that circle

    Like microbes under a lens; this is the first snow;

And soon the specks are feathers blandly sidling

    Inconsequent as the fancies of young girls

And the air has filled like a dance-hall,

    A waltz of white dresses and strings of pearls.

And the papers declare the snow has come to stay,

    A new upholstery on roof and garden

Refining, lining, underlining the day,

    And the sombre laurels break parole and blossom

In enormous clumps of peonies; and the cars

    Turn animal, moving slowly

Int heir white fur like bears,

    And the white trees fade into the hill behind them

As niggers' faces fade in a dark background,

    Our London world

Grown all of a piece and peaceful like the Arctic,

    The sums all cancelled out and the flags furled.

At night we sleep behind stockades of frost,

    Nothing alive in the streets to run the gauntlet

Of this unworldly cold except the lost

    Wisps of steam from the gratings of the sewers.

It is holiday time, time for the morning snack,

    Time to be leaving the country:

I have taken my ticket south, I will not look back,

    The pipes may burst for all I care, the gutter

Dribble with dirty snow, the Christmas party

    Be ruined by catarrh;

Let us flee this country and leave its complications

    Exactly where they (the devil take them) are.

So Dover to Dunkerque:

    The Land of Cockayne begins across the Channel.

The hooter cries to hell with the year's work,

    The snowflakes flirt with the steam of the steamer.

But the train in France is cold, the window

    Frosted with patterns of stars and fern,

And when we scrape a peephole on the window

    There is nothing new to learn;

Nothing but snow and snow all the way to Paris,

    No roast pigs walk this way

And any snatched half-hour of self-indulgence

    Is an intercalary day.

Sweet, my love, my dear, whoever you are or were,

    I need your company on this excursion

For, where there is the luxury of leisure, there

    There should also be the luxury of women.

I do not need you on my daily job

    Not yet on any spiritual adventure,

Not when I earn my keep but when I rob

    Time of his growth of tinsel:

No longer thinking you or any other

    Essential to my life -- soul-mate or dual star;

All I want is an elegant and witty playmate

    At the perfume counter or the cocktail bar.

So here where tourist values are the only

    Values, where we pretend

That eating and drinking are more important than thinking

    And look at things than action and a casual friend

Than a colleague and that work is a dull convenience

    Designed to provide

Money to spend on amusement and that amusement

    Is an eternal bride

Who will never sink to the level of a wife, that gossip

    Is the characteristic of art

And that the sensible man must keep his aestheric

    And his moral standards apart --

Here, where we think all this, I need you badly,

    Whatever your name or age or the colour of your hair;

I need your surface company (what happend

    Below the surface is my own affair).

And I feel a certain pleasurable nostalgia

    In sitting alone, drinking, wondering if you

Will suddenly thread your way among these vulcanite tables

    To a mutually suspected rendezvous

Among these banal women with feathers in their hats and halos

    Of evanescent veils

And these bald-at-thirty Englishmen whose polished

    Foreheads are the tombs of record sales;

Where alcohol, anchovies and shimmying street-lamps

    Knock the stolid almanac coclk-ahoop,

Where reason drowns and the senses

    Foam, flame, tingle and loop the loop.

And striking red or green matches to light these loose

    Cigarettes of black tobacco I need you badly --

The age-old woman apt for all misuse

    Whose soul is out of the picture,

How I enjoy this bout of cynical self-indulgence,

    Of glittering and hard-boiled make believe;

The cynic is a creature of over-statements

    But an overstatement is something to achieve.

And how (with a grain of salt) I enjoy hating

    The world to which for ever I belong,

This hatred, this escape, being equally factitious --

    A passing song.

For I cannot stay in Paris

    And, if I did, no doubt I should soon be bored

For what I see is not the intimate city

    But the brittle dance of lights in the Place de la Concorde.

So much for Christmas: I must go further south

    To see the New Year in on hungry faces

But where the hungry mouth

    Refuses to deny the heart's allegiance.

Look: the road winds up among the prickly vineyard

    And naked winter trees;

Over there are pain and pride beyond the snow-lit

    Sharp annunciation of the Pyrenees.

xxiii

The road ran downhill into Spain,

    The wind blew fresh on bamboo grasses,

The white plane-trees were bone-naked

    And the issues plain:

We have come to a place in space where shortly

    All of us may be forced to camp in time:

The slender searchlights climb,

    Our sins will find us out, even our sins of omission.

When I reached the town it was dark,

    No lights in the streets but two and a half millions

Of people in circulation

    Condemned like the beasts in the ark

With nothing but water around them:

    Will there ever be a green tree or a rock that is dry?

The shops are empty and in Barceloneta the eye-

    Sockets of the houses are empty.

But still they manage to laugh

    Though they have no eggs, no milk, no fish, no fruit, no tobacco, no butter

Though they live upon lentils and sleep in the Metro,

    Though the old order is gone and the golden calf

Of Catalan industry shattered;

    The human values remain, purged in the fire,

And it appears that every man's desire

    Is life rather than victuals.

Life being more, it seems, than merely the bare

    Permission to keep alive and receive order,

Humanity being more than a mechanism

    To be oiled and greased and for ever unaware

Of the work it is turning out, of why the wheels keep turning;

    Here at least the soul has found its voice

Though not indeed by choice;

    The cost was heavy.

They breathe the air of war and yet the tension

    Admits, beside the slogans it evokes,

An interest in philately or pelota

    Or private jokes.

And the sirens cry in the dark morning

    And the lights go out and the town is still

And the sky is pregnant with ill-will

    And the bombs come foxing the fated victim.

As pretty as a Guy Fawkes show --

    Silver sprays and tracer bullets --

And in the pauses of destruction

    The cocks in the centre of the town crow.

The cocks crow in Barcelona

    Where clocks are few to strike the hour;

Is it the heart's reveille or the sour

    Reproach of Simon Peter?

The year has come to an end,

    Time for resolutions, for stock-taking;

Felice Nuevo Ano!

    May God, if there is one, send

As much courage again and greater vision

    And resolve the antinomies in which we live

Where man must be either safe because he is negative

    Or free on the edge of a razor.

Give those who are gentle strength,

    Give those who are strong a generous imagination,

And make their half-truth true and let the crooked

    Footpath find its parent road at length.

I admit that for myself I cannot straiten

    My broken rambling track

Which reaches so irregularly back

    To burning cities and rifled rose-bushes

And cairns and lonely farms

    Where no one lives, makes love or begets children,

All my heredity and my upbringing

    Having brought me only to the Present's arms --

The arms not of a mistress but of a wrestler,

    Of a God who straddles over the night sky;

No wonder Jacob halted on his thigh --

    The price of a drawn battle.

For never to begin

    Anything new because we know there is nothing

New, in an academic sophistry --

    The original sin.

I have already had friends

    Among things and hours and people

But taking them one by one -- odd hours and passing people;

    Now I must make amends

And try to correlate event with instinct

    And me with you or you and you with all,

No longer think of time as a waterfall

    Abstracted from a river.

I have loved defeat and sloth,

    The tawdry halo of the idyl martyr;

I have thrown away the roots of will and consciene,

    Now I must look for both,

Not any longer act among the cushions

    The Dying Gaul;

Soon or late the delights of self-pity must pall

    And the fun of cursing the wicked

World into which we were born

    And the cynical admission of frustration

('Our loves are not full measure,

    There are blight and rooks on the corn').

Rather for any measure so far given

    Let us be glad

Nor wait on purpose to be wisely sad

    When doing nothing we find we have gained nothing.

For here and now the new valkyries ride

    the Spanish constellations

As over the Plaza Cataluna

    Orion lolls on his side;

Droning over from Majorca

    To main or blind or kill

The bearers of the living will,

    The stubborn heirs of freedom

Whose matter-of-fact faith and courage shame

    Our niggling equivocations --

We who play for safety,

    A safety only in name.

Whereas these people contain truth, whatever

    Their nominal facade.

Listen: a whirr, a challenge, an aubade --

    It is the cock crowing in Barcelona.

xxiv

Sleep, my body, sleep, my ghost,

    Sleep, my parents and grand-parents,

And all those I have loved most:

    One man's coffin is another's cradle.

Sleep, my past and all my sins,

    In distant snow or dried roses

Under the moon for night's cocoon will open

    When day begins.

Sleep, my fathers, in your graves

    On upland bogland under heather;

What the wind scatters the wind saves,

    A sapling springs in a new country.

Time is a country, the present moment

    A spotlight roving round the scene;

We need not chase the spotlight,

    The future is the bride of what has been.

Sleep, my fancies and my wishes,

    Sleep a little and wake strong,

The same but different and take my blessing --

    A cradle-song.

And sleep, my various and conflicting

    Selves I have so long endured,

Sleep in Asclepius' temple

    And wake cured.

And you with whom I shared an idyll

    Five years long,

Sleep beyond the Atlantic

    And wake to a glitter of dew and to bird-song.

And you whose eyes are blue, whose ways are foam,

    Sleep quiet and smiling

And do not hanker

    For a perfection which can never come.

And you whose minutes patter

    To crowd the social hours,

Curl up easy in a pleasant corner

    And let your thoughts close in like flowers.

And you, who work for Christ, and you, as eager

    For a better life, humanist, atheist,

And you, devoted to a cause, and you, to a family,

    Sleep and may your beliefs and zeal persist.

Sleep quietly, Marx and Freud,

    The figure-heads of our transition.

Cagney, Lombard, Bing and Garbo,

    Sleep in your world of celluloid.

Sleep now also, monk and satyr,

    Cease your wrangling for a night.

Sleep, my brain, and sleep, my senses,

    Sleep, my hunger and my spite.

Sleep, recruits to the evil army,

    Who, for so long misunderstood,

Took to the gun to kill your sorrow;

    Sleep and be damned and wake up good.

While we sleep, what shall we dream?

    Of Tir nan Og or South Sea islands,

Of a land where all the milk is cream

    And all the girls are willing?

Or shall our dream be earnest of the real

    Future when we wake,

Design a home, a factory, a fortress

    Which, though with effort, we can really make?

What is it we want really?

    For what end and how?

If it is something feasible, obtainable,

    Let us dream it now,

And pray for a possible land

    Not of sleep-walkers, not of angry puppets,

But where both heart and brain can understand

    The movements of our fellows;

Where life is a choice of intruments and none

    Is debarred his natural music,

Where the waters of life are free of the ice-blockade of hunger

    And thought is free as the sun,

Where the altars of sheer power and mere profit

    Have fallen to disuse,

Where nobody sees the use

    Of buying money and blood at the cost of blood and money,

Where the individual, no longer squandered

    In self-assertion, works with the rest, endowed

With the split vision of a juggler and the quick lock of a taxi,

    Where the people are more than a crowd.

So sleep in hope of this -- but only for a little;

    Your hope must wake

While the choice is yours to make,

    The mortgage not foreclosed, the offer open.

Sleep serene, avoid the backward

    Glance; go forward, dreams, and do not halt

(Behind you in the desert stands a token

    Of doubt -- a pillar of salt).

Sleep, the past, and wake, the future,

    And walk out promptly through the open door;

But you, my coward doubts, may go on sleeping,

    You need not wake again -- not any more.

The New Year comes with bombs, it is too late

    To dose the dead with honourable intentions:

If you have honour to spare, employ it on the living;

    The dead are dead as 1938.

Sleep to the noise of running water

    To-morrow to be crossed, however deep;

This is no river of the dead or Lethe,

    To-night we sleep

On the banks of Rubicon -- the die is cast;

    There will be time to audit

The accounts later, there will be sunlight later

    And the equation will come out at last.

    

-- Louis Macneice